Test of Toughness

I am soo glad it is Tuesday and yesterday is behind me. I had a rough day to say the least and it was definitely a test of how mentally tough I have to be in order to pull my head out of a not so pleasant place, and get my mind back to the important things such as training, dieting, and practicing. With less than 3 weeks until Vancouver, I am starting to feel overwhelmed and like my Superwoman Cape is not tied on straight nor is it flying flamboyantly like usual. I felt bad for Batman, Robin and B.C. at the gym yesterday because I came in ready to duke it out with something or someone (which in turn, allowed me to lift heavier than normal on my shoulders). I almost burst into tears during one part of our session because I was overcome with stress and anxiety with all the things I have on my plate and trying to keep them all balanced and organized (I have done a great job thus far, if I do say so myself). I pounded out 6 miles on the treadmill, the majority being sprint work, before leaving at 5:30pm. I was later than usual and as I was driving home with sweat still dripping down my face, I did it... I had a breakdown and turned into a hot mess, literally. I had tears rolling down mixed in with the sweat and I just felt defeated for the first time since I started training in November. I wish I had more hours in the day or as many arm-thingys that Octopus' have, then I could manage to get everything done. I took my time with things when I got home trying to half unwind and half calm the internal storm, which seemed to help. I snuggled with Stella for a bit and completed food prep, 2 loads laundry and packed my bags for the morning. Late last night, I got an email from Pete with my 2-week out diet and thank goodness the Tuesdays were about the same so I didn't have too much to change for today.

I have been having a tough time with my a.m. cardio, partly because it is at 3:30 am and the other part being that I have been battling this sickness for the past few weeks. So today, with the advice of Batman and Robin, I tried something new and it was just what I needed! I took a different approach to my cardio session and was able to bang out 4 miles at a higher intensity than normal and be more prepared for my work day. It is a great feeling especially after yesterday and I am not as fired up as yesterday, I am feeling more like my normal feisty self. It is a Pete day though, which makes me nervous but other than that, I am ready to attack the day and hit the gym hard later this evening. I need to keep swimming as someone reminded me last night, and thankfully with my new found fins and gills from all the salmon and tilapia, I will do just that!

Ciao for now,     J