Staying Afloat

Up at 3 am, cardio at 4am, meal one at 430 am, work at 5 am, and here I am! Yesterday was an odd day for more reasons than one. I was lacking energy (which I have come to find that after modified cheat meals I am not feeling better, I feel worse than the day prior) and my body ached. It was my favorite day in the gym, back day, but it didn't feel like I got the lift in that I had hoped for. I was disappointed in myself and after getting home, I ended up getting sick. I hate throw up. end of story. I don't know if I caught something at the gym (my new M.O.) or if it was caused from stress and anxiety about the next couple days. I have A LOT to do and I really just need to make it to Saturday evening and then I can take a deep breath and unwind, at least for Sunday. I have my GRE's today which makes me very uneasy! I have not studied for them like I should have and that is not my style! I do not like feeling unprepared for ANYTHING so it stresses me out but with being sick, work, training, dieting, practicing, food prep, and all the life in between, I ran out of time. So the next two days look like this: Cardio, work, cardio, lift, GRE, drive to parents, up for am Cardio, Bham for Sister's graduation, Renton for practice, back to the Wood for graduation party, cardio/workout #2 all while dieting and keeping my sanity. Ok and GO! Yea back to needing that personal driver or shoot a jet plane would be nice! I just keep repeating to myself, "keep pushing, keep going, you got this" and I seem to be able to just plow forward. I kind of relate it to one of those horses used back in the day to work the fields. They have all that heavy equipment dragging behind them but they keep working. They keep moving forward even when the work gets tougher than usual. Yes my load is heavy right now and yes I am having mini panic attacks but I keep a smile on my face and keep on keeping on (my new saying by the way). I got this and tomorrow it is 2 weeks out until showtime! Holy moly, where does my time go? Haha wouldn't we all like to know.

On a different note, one of the things that keeps amazing me every time is the inspiration others have found from my journey. I have been told, by some who I had no idea followed my blog and others who I talk to daily, that they have found a lot of inspiration from me and the things I am doing. I do not know how I have done this but it makes me smile and gives me a sense of satisfaction. If others are motivated to live healthier lifestyles and become strong, confident individuals following their dreams, then I have done my job. I know that the road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces calling out your name to sit and stay a while but if you keep your eyes on the prize, keep them focused to what is in front of you, you have all the capabilities in the world to reach it! Keeping that fire alive inside you that burns soo deep it pushes you past what you thought possible, to become what you want or who you know you can be is the ultimate prize and when you get closer and closer, that fire will explode.

Ciao for now,     J

P.s. I want to give a shout out to L.Bug who recently interviewed for and beat out 30 people for a new job! I am proud of you and please know that I am and always will be in your corner, supporting you 110% each and every step. You got this and will be a huge success. Believe in yourself, I do! <3