From the Heart

I recently heard a quote from a man that said, "The fear of not being enough is paralyzing." Through this journey to the figure stage, I have had twists and turns, ups and downs, and full on grab the Oh crap handle, brakes skidding to a halt one-inch from the car in front of me experiences. This quote really resonated with me because when I compare myself to other figure competitors and gym-goers, I feel less than adequate sometimes and fear that I will never be good enough or "big enough" to hit the stage. This is a constant battle I deal with and I have to keep telling myself that I am my own worst critic and I am also my own worst enemy. I know how hard I have worked and it all lies in ME what will or will not be accomplished through training, dieting, posing along with all the details in between. Coming from an individual who is Type-A and also has anxiety about pretty much everything, these thoughts are paralyzing...

How am I making it through those mind-stalling traffic jams that leaves me feeling like I am piggy backing an elephant around? There are many inspirational and heart-warming people as well as experiences that have helped yank Dumbo off my back. A recent encounter that occurred yesterday while at the gym was when a gentleman approached me, Batman and Robin at a row machine. He was disabled but had such a bright personality and told us that Jesus was the sun in the sky and that he also could do the machine we were on. He then proceeded to joke around with us and asked me if I was a cop because of my muscles and if I used them to rough people up. His whole demeanor really made me stop and think that there will always be things in life that will drag you down but there is also soooo much more worth living for and to never ever stop loving life! Another occurrence that truly took me back was when talking with a team member during cardio one day. She and I were discussing all the things that had to be done in the next 7 (yes 7!!) weeks before the first show. I was complimenting her on her physique and all the hard work that she has put in when she stopped and said, "you know you are going to rock it right?" I looked at her all cock-eyed and sideways before she continued on. I got all teary-eyed before half tripping off the treadmill to give her a gigantic sweaty hug. Sometimes you just need to hear those things to turn your day around. A little compliment, a smile, a friendly gesture can really make someones day and I challenge you do just that!

Ciao for now,  J