Test of Toughness

I am soo glad it is Tuesday and yesterday is behind me. I had a rough day to say the least and it was definitely a test of how mentally tough I have to be in order to pull my head out of a not so pleasant place, and get my mind back to the important things such as training, dieting, and practicing. With less than 3 weeks until Vancouver, I am starting to feel overwhelmed and like my Superwoman Cape is not tied on straight nor is it flying flamboyantly like usual. I felt bad for Batman, Robin and B.C. at the gym yesterday because I came in ready to duke it out with something or someone (which in turn, allowed me to lift heavier than normal on my shoulders). I almost burst into tears during one part of our session because I was overcome with stress and anxiety with all the things I have on my plate and trying to keep them all balanced and organized (I have done a great job thus far, if I do say so myself). I pounded out 6 miles on the treadmill, the majority being sprint work, before leaving at 5:30pm. I was later than usual and as I was driving home with sweat still dripping down my face, I did it... I had a breakdown and turned into a hot mess, literally. I had tears rolling down mixed in with the sweat and I just felt defeated for the first time since I started training in November. I wish I had more hours in the day or as many arm-thingys that Octopus' have, then I could manage to get everything done. I took my time with things when I got home trying to half unwind and half calm the internal storm, which seemed to help. I snuggled with Stella for a bit and completed food prep, 2 loads laundry and packed my bags for the morning. Late last night, I got an email from Pete with my 2-week out diet and thank goodness the Tuesdays were about the same so I didn't have too much to change for today.

I have been having a tough time with my a.m. cardio, partly because it is at 3:30 am and the other part being that I have been battling this sickness for the past few weeks. So today, with the advice of Batman and Robin, I tried something new and it was just what I needed! I took a different approach to my cardio session and was able to bang out 4 miles at a higher intensity than normal and be more prepared for my work day. It is a great feeling especially after yesterday and I am not as fired up as yesterday, I am feeling more like my normal feisty self. It is a Pete day though, which makes me nervous but other than that, I am ready to attack the day and hit the gym hard later this evening. I need to keep swimming as someone reminded me last night, and thankfully with my new found fins and gills from all the salmon and tilapia, I will do just that!

Ciao for now,     J

Weekend Blitz

The weekend went too fast, but as is the case every time! Saturday was busy rushing from one appointment to the next and never missing a beat. The highlight was a photo shoot with a good friend of mine. We had a great time coming up with different poses, different outfits, and at one point I am outside in the freezing cold in a swim suit trying to capture just the right shot. However, I am not very good at making the expressions that she was asking for. Half the time I have a dumbfounded look on my face and the other half of the time...Well lets just say those pictures will not be used. EVER. I practiced posing with a group of girls which was a great experience and I am starting to feel more confident with each practice. I hit the gym and got back on my regular schedule for cardio, which in one set I thought I was for sure going to pass out and hit every step on the way down because my poor lungs were not keeping up with the rest of my body. I have to thank Too $hort- cocktales for getting me through that session. The song came on during my last few minutes and I am pretty sure the woman next to me was not impressed with my singing (I thought I was mouthing it but the dang headphones in my ears just made it seem that way). Sunday was cardio followed by errands, food prep, team practice, more food prep, more cardio, more posing, and even more cardio. During my first session of cardio, there was a spin class going on in front of me so it gave me something to watch instead of the timer on the step mill (which seems to sometimes stand still as if it is broken!). I started giggling when the instructor was doing a seated pedal session but she was peddling so hard and fast that her bottom was catching air off the seat. Her poor bum has got to be sore today! For team practice, we are posing in our bikinis this month so I felt a little strange running errands in the POURING rain with my swimsuit on underneath my clothes but also excited to see all the hard work my team mates have put in over the past few months. The next thing I knew, I was trying to get laundry done, food packed for today, Stella bathed, and all the other things before hitting the hay.

One thing I thought about a lot this weekend is how I feel alone sometimes on this journey. I know this is not the case but when you are so consumed with daily training and the other things you still need to manage, you find yourself always by yourself. This weekend was one of those times in which sitting with a good friend conversing over coffee would have made all the difference or even a phone call from a close friend would have brightened the otherwise dark gray sky. When the weather is always the same (in our case RAINING) and by the way, I am pretty sure I will need to trade my car in for some type of motorboat in order to get places, it also has an effect on how I feel and it causes me to feel a little blue and lonely. By all means I am thrilled with my progress and how hard I have worked and the journey I have embarked on, but sometimes just sometimes, it would be nice to have that close connection with loved ones.

On to Monday and all it has to offer (well besides more Tilapia).

Ciao for now,    J

And another...

Here is two other pics from the weekend....

Glimpse from the weekend

I am not able to write a full entry right now but here is a picture from a mini photoshoot I did this weekend... There will be more too come....

Time sure does fly



Me and My Dad. Now there is a face to go with the big man :)

 Ahhh the way, "it's finally Friday" rolls off my tongue is soo delightful! This has been a crazy week with many ups and downs but I have made it to the end of the week and am looking forward to a couple days off from work to regain myself and get things straightened out. Yesterdays work out was bittersweet. It was leg day and we pushed it. Some felt like puking, some were cursing at how it burned, and some were laughing at the reactions of the others in the group. That's the thing I have come to love about training. Its hard. I look back at some of the workouts and cant believe my body does what I ask of it and my favorite reaction is when people approach us at the gym and say, "You are crazy. That looks hard!" Duh, well yea it is hard, but that's how we like to train. I sometimes hate the exercise I am doing or when Batman and Robin add large amounts of weight to my lift because they think I can do it (and I tell them I can't), or how I am extremely sore for days after but I know that it is only helping me to the stage. Over the past week of this new diet, I have seen big changes in my body and it amazes me at how Pete knows exactly what to do to make these changes happen. I am seeing definition in areas I never thought I would (such as my thighs) and I am really starting to thin out but still look "big and cut". It really excites me because I cant wait to see what I will look like come showtime! All this hard work and dedication is paying off and it is such a great feeling to know that I have worked soo hard for something that I really want. I am not back to 2x/day cardios just yet because of this cold but I will be starting tomorrow and then 3 weeks to go! I cant believe how fast time has flown by nor can I believe that since November, I have put on over 20lbs of muscle (LBM). Craziness! In the final countdown to the stage, I am looking forward to practicing my posing, keeping mentally focused and driving myself towards that goal. So here is to a great weekend ahead and to the final countdown!

Ciao for now,    J

Keep on keeping on

I have been hit... I have been hit by this dang head cold thingy that's going around and I am not happy about it! I made it into the gym yesterday for a back workout and by the end of it I was both exhausted and cranky. I am frustrated that I am sick again and it does not help that in the gym, I cant keep up the same intensity in my workouts that I feel I should be. By the end of it yesterday, I am sure Batman and Robin were ready to kick my butt out of the gym and outta their way because I was in prime form (sick and no carbs)...awesome. The night ended up getting better for L.Bug came over with Reece's Peanut Butter Cheesecake and I also made the most A-Mazing loaded baked potato. For my Modi cheat meal, I am allowed to have 6oz of cheesecake and 6oz of loaded potato. I put soo much cheese, sour cream and bacon bits on that baby and it was heaven on Earth just to be followed by cheesecake! I was one happy girl until my stomach started churning and making the most obnoxious noises because of the sugar-high I was about to experience. I finished my meal prep for today and popped 2 Nyquil only to wake up with the same dang nostril clogged! I am feeling a tad better but I am also on every cold medicine/herbal remedy you can think of because I have to get rid of this! I must keep on keeping on in order to get to Vancouver.

I found a couple old pictures and I wanted to share them...  One is my last year of college rodeo on my little peanut. I miss her greatly and she was such a great horse! The other is a picture from a few months back from a wedding I was in. I love the rain boots we wore because it was pouring (gotta admit it makes the outfit though :)

Ciao for now,    J

Not going to happen...

Yesterday was a Pete day... I was excited to see him because I had started my new diet and I was feeling lean AND I tried on my suit for him. Half the time I think my body knows I am going to see Pete, so it plays tricks on me and will bloat up like a Thanksgiving day parade blimp or in most instances, my right calf will hold water (for who knows what reason) which makes me soo angry. I even asked my sister if she would trade me calves and she said "sure if I can have your abs." Still to be negotiated. We worked on posing and my presentation routine and worked on getting my suit to sit just right. Looks like I will be using a lot of glue to hold that baby in place. Now I have been feeling just a tad funky and I now know why! As I was driving home I felt my throat get scratchy, my body start to ache and my nose stuff up but only one nostril which is really inconvenient! I went straight to the pharmacy, got my 2nd dose of antibiotics filled and loaded up on all the cold medicine I could think of. I went home, popped my first dose and a ton of vit. c as well as some herbal doctor stuff that hopefully works and Nyquil. If this doesn't TKO this crap outta me, I am going to be one angry girl and that is something no one wants to see! I can NOT afford to get sick again with only 3 weeks to go. I asked Pete about it and since I am still losing body fat and sticking to a really strict diet, I am more susceptible to catching this nastyness that is going around. Well here is a little word for my cold:

Dear cold,

Go kick rocks.

Thanks,
J

On another note, I got a call at work today from B.C. (bonecrusher). It was such a treat! He pretended to be someone interested in the program and was giving me a hard time when the light bulb went off and I recognized his voice. It was pretty funny and made me laugh, exactly what I needed!

Ciao for now,   J