What Do You Seek In Life?

This is a question that I ask myself over and over again. What is it that I want out of my life? What do I want to do or be? Where am I going and is it the right direction? If there is one thing that I absolutely get frustrated about it is this... I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I can set a goal and work my butt off to do everything possible in order to achieve it. I can make up my mind about pretty much anything and stay committed to that decision. I am not scared of hard work and know that in order to get to where I want to be, I have to pay the price. Why is it then that I am a 25 year old who can not figure out what I should be? I have never been one of those people who said in 3rd grade, "I want to be a fire fighter or a doctor or a veterinarian" and they do just that. My sister knows exactly what she wants to be and is almost there. I however, am a free floater taking multiple paths and winding all around trying to figure it out which frankly, pisses me off. Sure, I have great ideas and dreams but how do I create those into a future that is not only secure but also satisfying? I found a quote that fits into this situation and I thought I would share it with yall.

"To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says:  leave no stone unturned."

Well here's my application for road construction then because I have been turning stones over left and right on this road and I am pretty sure I would have a brand new highway paved faster than the construction on I-405 in Bellevue! I will not give up and I will keep fighting this battle to become something...someone...great. There is no doubt in my mind that once I get it figured out, I will make it work but for now this aching, gut-wrenching feeling in the bottom of my stomach needs to find a new home because I don't like it and its interfering with my training. So I ask you... what is the best way to get rid of an anxious belly ache?

Yesterday was a Pete day, woot woot! Ha yea right, here's the kicker... Pete just got a bunch of new equipment for the gym and not only did it make the place look bad ass, it also gave opportunity to inflict a lot more pain. I trained glutes/hammies and this morning while doing cardio, I felt each and every step on that dang step mill. So Pete, my glutes thank you and I am not very happy with you because I am having difficulty walking today! :) I am on track and we have decided that my next show will be November 19th in Olympia. This gives me some time to size up before dieting back down. I am looking forward to a new prep round for I am trying to scheme up something, a new look for November that is better than ever! I will keep you posted on that process...

Ciao for now,    J