Learning to "be"

I have done a lot of thinking lately and I think the title says it all....Learning to "be" is a very very hard thing for me as a competitor. I compete because I like the challenge, I love to push myself beyond measures I did not think I could achieve and lets be honest, I like the way I feel when I am dieted and ready for a competition. Now to go from abs and striations to a "softer" look is very tough mentally. I know I can get back to where I was and I know it is necessary to soften up in order for my body to heal and recover but even if I know without a doubt I will get back to contest shape, it does not make it any easier. Mr. T always reminds me of this and does not understand where I am coming from but why would he? He can clean up his diet for 2 weeks and drop 20 lbs! That's the difference between males and females plus after a competition, hormone levels are all over the place so if I am not ready to cry then I am ready to punch someone in the face, which makes those "days" that much harder. I bring this up because yesterday was one of them and I am trying my hardest to live in the present, enjoy my current state, and not focus on all the things I wish I could change about myself. We are our own worst enemy and it is very true that the mind-body connection directly correlates! If I think I am fat, damn well I will hold the toxins that are not only filling my mind but will be shown on my body. We as humans come in all shapes and sizes and it is about the journey. I know my final destination but there are sooo many bends, curves, and stops I will make along the way. It is my goal to inspire those who struggle with the same negative self-talk, show you how I overcome it and provide healthy ideas, recipes, workouts, and much more along the way.

Updates Updates!

Now I told you I would keep you updated but since life hit fast forward and I can barely keep up, I will update y'all on the last couple months (well since my previous post). I had a show on September 28th and I won the overall. This was my first show under new coaching and it was a blast. Not only did I feel really good the entire time, I also received feedback from important individuals that acknowledged my new look and said to "keep doing what you are doing". This is a huge step in the right direction! I was nervous to get back on stage but glad I took the leap to do so. Shortly after this show.... I married Mr. T!! Yep, this is the same Mr. T that I mentioned a long time ago that I would go and workout with (and yes Jr. was there to celebrate) :)  Not sure what I did or how I scored such an amazing man but he is now my husband and I am the luckiest girl alive! He has been my rock and pushed me during prep all the while still being patient with me as I planned our wedding. Yes, I planned a wedding all the while prepping for a local show and Nationals. After the wedding, I went straight back to work. Nationals was only 4 weeks later...

That leads me to here. We just got home from Florida on Sunday and Nationals did not go as I had hoped. I brought in a strong physique that I am happy with and my coach was there to keep tabs on what my physique was doing until I stepped on stage. I am disappointed with myself for I royally screwed up my posing. I felt confident and ready to step on that stage but my posing showed otherwise and all I can say is I will learn and grow from it and it WILL NOT happen again. When the time comes to start my next prep, I will be practicing my posing daily and I will be seeking the advice and help I need to ensure I am spot on and confident when it comes to posing.

The photo on the left was a national show a year ago and on the right is this year. 

It is always a humbling experience when you work so hard and try for something that you really want only to be disappointed with the outcome. This is what separates true athletes from their competition. A true athlete stands up after they fall and pushes forward only to strive to be better the next time. I will not quit nor will I let this drag me down for too long. I have a strong support team behind me who believe in me even when I don't. I know the outcome I desire and I will chase it until I get it.  

Ciao for now,

J

Time away... Can be a great thing...

Sometimes in life you need to just take a step back (or maybe a few steps back) and re-evaluate what is important in life and where you currently find yourself in the midst of this crazy, beautiful ride we call life. That is exactly what I have done over the last several months. Soo much has happened, it is tough to determine a starting point!

Lets start with... I am a Masters! I finished my course and thesis work at Central and now have my Masters Degree. I graduated and moved back to the West side of the mountains and have been busy planning a wedding, working, and of course training!! Life had been extremely busy, and I am finding it hard to catch up most days... This is new to me. I thrive off of a hectic schedule but there are nights I am not eating dinner until 8pm and its straight to bed to get up and get to the gym by 4:30 am. I am not complaining one bit... but I am stating that the saying "You better look around once in a while or life will pass you by" is 100% correct! The last couple months are a blur and look its freaking September already!

Training has been going really really well! I am feeling good about where I am and feel I made some decent progress since July of last year. I will keep you posted on my upcoming plans but I am excited for what's to come.

J